Death Is Funny

I hope that I find a funny way to die
The sight of the blood from the shaving mishap
Causes me to swoon hitting my head on the sink
When they lift my face from the water of the bloody toilet
With the blue disk still lodged in my airway
“Ha ha” they will say
“His life was sad but his death was hilarious!”

Or when I drunkenly pee
On the running engine of my car
And the electricity runs back up the stream
Making my balls clack and chatter like coiled copper
And the smoke rises from my scorched arm pits
“Ha ha ha” they will say
“What a fucking stupid ass!”